Saturday, December 30, 2006

Coffee Grounds

I woke earlier this morning and forced myself up and out of bed, as I had to be work an hour and a half earlier due to the holiday schedule.

I am not generally a morning person, and to just to prove it to myself, while making my coffee, I tipped the filter out of my hand and in an instant, coffee grounds had scattered over my countertop, into the draws and cupboards ajar below and all over the kitchen floor.

I caught myself before the curse escaped me. I lightened my energy, relaxed my shoulders, and smiled, “Okay, Baba, get with it now!”

It took me about 15 minutes to clean everything up, as it seemed that coffee had not just been dropped, but flung by the hand of a mean little elf, for as far as he could throw it.

About half way through the job I felt that curse coming on again, and then I remembered last night’s CNN broadcast and Saddam Hussein’s quick trip to the gallows.

I had caught the beginning earlier on in the evening, during my break at work, when they were still not sure but said that the appeal for a delay in his execution had been rejected.

For some reason, I stood spellbound watching this unfold, as I had stood the day before when I heard James Brown had died. My daughter Nika had walked in on me that day as I watched the announcement with a pang of real regret, remembering those vintage scenes from the Apollo Theatre, James Brown and the Famous Flames, and “I Feel Good, I knew that I would…”

James Brown set a musical standard for a whole generation of new R&B and Soul musicians, including all the rock band/pop singers that ever were and will be. Without him, there would never have been a Michael Jackson, a Mick Jagger, or a Freddie Mercury. So what if he had his demons? We all do!

I said to Nika, “James Brown just died” and she replied, “Poor dad,” as she knew it had affected me in a sad way.

I felt no such sadness watching the face of Saddam Hussein on the evening broadcast, but I felt a different kind of sadness, when I listened to his daughter’s comments on what a fine and loving father he had been.

From what I saw over the past year, there was a regal quality to his face, something truly noble, but which had been pushed down and smothered in the fire of surviving as a dictator and grasping and killing his way into power. Saddam's demons were too powerful, and they took over. And somewhere along the way, he let them.

What if the other Saddam had taken over, the handsome man with the kind smile, splashing in the water with his child on his shoulders? The one who said “Don’t hate your enemies”! What if that man had ruled and guided Iraq?

My urge to curse was now fading. Spilled coffee grounds are not so bad!

Hell, they're nothing at all!

Monday, December 25, 2006

Big Wheel Turning

Last night I came home from work early, as the phones closed at 8 p.m. for the holidays, and I spent about a half hour extra closing the office.

At home I reached down a bottle of rum which has been sitting in my kitchen since last Christmas and poured a shot into a Light Holiday Eggnog from Safeway. I turned on Channel 4 to watch and listen to the crackling of the Yule Log and checked email.

This doesn't measure up to lighting my wood fire with cedar bough kindling on my Vancouver Island days, and putting a pot of clove-scented water on the stove to boil, but brings back pleasant memories anyway.

I spent most of this Christmas morning designing a Christmas greeting email, which I started to work on last night and finally got finished and sent out. The fonts might not match on other computers, or maybe the angels won’t appear on hotmail, but the intention is there anyway.

I also received an email from a good friend who is in East Berlin on a Christmas break from work in London. He reminded me, “You have been remiss in updating your blog.”

I talked to all family members via phone this morning. Nika initiated this with a Merry Christmas dad call, and all the kids (now young ladies and gentlemen) chimed in one at a time, as they had all spent Christmas Eve together exchanging gifts, as our family gathering is not planned until Boxing Day. Then they had all slept over at Chaya's and were planning to go snowboarding as a group today.

I can't tell you how proud I am of my children, that they value each other enought to celebrate as a family in the absence of mom and dad.

I don't know what everyone received but I do know that Kadir will be "rockin' the blues" with a new Fender guitar and amp, courtesy of Saint Nick. Thank God, for Santa Claus...one of the many joyful creations of our common Creator.

And don't start trying to tell me that there is no Santa Claus. I ain't a-buyin' it!


So for this Christmas anyway, I pray along with many others for food and shelter for all humankind, for someone or something to Love for each of us, and for Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all. I plan to continue this prayer throughout the next 365 days.

If you think Santa forgot you this year, the Big Wheel isn't yet finished turning.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

"Good Vibrations"

It is Sunday morning and I am slowly getting ready for work.

The big snow and wind that was forecast hit Vancouver Island and some of the lower mainland but in the Greater Vancouver area only the wind arrived, doing some major damage to the trees in Stanley Park, which is now closed to all traffic (including pedestrians) until further notice.

In all my years here, since 1970, I can't remember this ever happening.

After having to boil water a few weeks ago, having power when others were losing it all around the city, made me even more grateful for things we take for granted.

The roller coaster of domestic problems continued into this week and had me praying more than ever that they would be solved before we entered fully into the holiday season. It seems my prayers have been temporarily answered although last night the problems re-visited me multiplied a hundred-fold in my dreams.

A friend of mine suggested the other day, "Where there is family, there is problems", and that is an important reminder that this is another area where we can easily assume things, or take things for granted. When I was single (way back in the Stone Age) I only had my own problems but now I have to bear the difficulties of all my family members with them, there is no choice in the matter!

Along with other areas of changes in my life, I've added the routine of morning prayer after my physical exercises, and during this prayer I try to include the names of all family members and any friends or acquaintances who are having difficulties, and in this way hopefully adding to the volume of "good vibrations" spreading around the planet.

It seems to me that I need to learn more about and then activate the simple human act of bestowing blessing, which of course doesn't come from us, but moves through us from the Source of everything that is!

I can feel prayer as a really "good vibration" that moves through me and heals me too before I begin to breathe it outward.

And I thank God (and of course Brian Wilson) for these good vibrations.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Kadir's Win!

It's just past 5 p.m. Wednesday night and I am back home from a brief trip downtown.

My plan today, a day off from work, was to do a little window shopping and maybe even some real shopping and then take in a movie.

I had called my son Kadir at noon to see if he wanted to join me after school and he had not called back and by the time I finished my visit to several stores, I was too early for the movie I wanted to see and so went home to check my voice mail.

There was still no call from Kadir and so I was biding my time as I still had enough time to walk back downtown to the movie when my phone rang.

It was Kadir. He was just getting home from school and was basically rushing home to show his sister Chaya his report card.

He has had a rocky ride in the past few years, as have all of our family for many reasons (only a few of which have been spelled out in this blog), and nearly failed grade 6.

Last year, after my daughter Chaya took over his care, he attended a middle school in Coquitlam and managed mostly "C" grades and this year, his first year in high school, he also managed "C" grades in earlier tests.

About a month ago, after a family discussion, Chaya decided to apply a more focused discipline in terms of homework and we all encouraged him to try harder, as he is "smart as a whip" but tends to drag his feet when he doesn't want to do something.

To make a long story short, he blurted out "Guess what dad? I got an "A" in math!"

In his last years of elementary school he never once scored an "A" in math, and the pride in his voice was evident.

It was plain to me in the past few years that he didn't feel he could possibly do well in school, that he felt he didn't have what it takes...but the love and dedication of his sister Chaya, plus his innate wisdom, is beginning to pay off.

Now he knows he can do it, and that is half the battle won!

And his dad?

Today is a wonderful day!