In terms of posting to my blog it has been a dry month for me.
There have been a few domestic upheavals in the past weeks that have had me crouching down in my "worry zone" a place I don't enjoy hanging in.
But each day is a new day bringing with it new opportunities and chances and every day I start my day with prayers and exercises to help bring me into tune with the higher frequencies and forces that surround us and can nudge us out of the doldrums.
I have to constantly remind myself that things I picture as terrible possibilities are not likely to happen. But when you are hunkering down in the worry zone, that's easy to forget.
So this is my advice to myself today:
Stand up, shake it off and move ahead. Don't run, don't push, don't complain. Take your time. When you take your time you do things right and don't have to do them again.
And if you are not going to throw anyone off course, there's no harm in shaking a tail feather while you're at it!
So shake it, shake it, shake it...baby!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A re-surgence of energy
Wednesday and my 2nd day off.
Tuesday it rained for half the day, but today I had no chores and woke to a pristine sunny day.
After my morning rituals, I set off for my seawall walk. I had a re-surgence of energy and was able to make it all the way to Siwash Rock.
For the first time in a year, I paid homage to my mom at Siwash Rock and then visited Pauline Johnson's memorial in the park.
I made it clear (to myself and to the deceased poet) that I was not there to take on any illnesses this time but to honor the poet and the memory of my mom (who was an admirer of the poet) and to thank God for the deep lessons learned on my last visit when I wound up in hospital and unable to walk without a cane for months after.
Sometimes it is important to communicate with the dead if only to make intentions clear to oneself.
I wore a t-shirt as the weather was great but I took the precaution of applying a limited amount of SPF48 suntan lotion, being very careful not to apply any where it might contact my eyes.
I seemed to have passed the critical phase of my life (experienced last year during my "illness") shared with W.B. Yeats where the bodies and presences of young women cause such an upheaval in my innermost being. I was able to view and admire them without any visible repercussions today, and enjoyed the ambience of the beauty in my environment.
I knew before I left today that I would be able to do the walk without any excess clothing and my intuition proved accurate.
I was even able to dissuade myself from stopping for food along the way and settled for a home cooked meal. Knowing that I would arrive in time for the hockey game proved an incentive and indeed I arrived home with only an hour to spare before the Wings/Hawks game on TV.
It was a remarkably close game and kudos to the Hawks for fighting such a fierce battle but the Wings won in overtime and now it will be a repeat of last years playoff teams, the Wings and the Pens.
My sister Marilyn will be arriving for a visit next week and so I am inspired to be able spend quality time with her.
Tuesday it rained for half the day, but today I had no chores and woke to a pristine sunny day.
After my morning rituals, I set off for my seawall walk. I had a re-surgence of energy and was able to make it all the way to Siwash Rock.
For the first time in a year, I paid homage to my mom at Siwash Rock and then visited Pauline Johnson's memorial in the park.
I made it clear (to myself and to the deceased poet) that I was not there to take on any illnesses this time but to honor the poet and the memory of my mom (who was an admirer of the poet) and to thank God for the deep lessons learned on my last visit when I wound up in hospital and unable to walk without a cane for months after.
Sometimes it is important to communicate with the dead if only to make intentions clear to oneself.
I wore a t-shirt as the weather was great but I took the precaution of applying a limited amount of SPF48 suntan lotion, being very careful not to apply any where it might contact my eyes.
I seemed to have passed the critical phase of my life (experienced last year during my "illness") shared with W.B. Yeats where the bodies and presences of young women cause such an upheaval in my innermost being. I was able to view and admire them without any visible repercussions today, and enjoyed the ambience of the beauty in my environment.
I knew before I left today that I would be able to do the walk without any excess clothing and my intuition proved accurate.
I was even able to dissuade myself from stopping for food along the way and settled for a home cooked meal. Knowing that I would arrive in time for the hockey game proved an incentive and indeed I arrived home with only an hour to spare before the Wings/Hawks game on TV.
It was a remarkably close game and kudos to the Hawks for fighting such a fierce battle but the Wings won in overtime and now it will be a repeat of last years playoff teams, the Wings and the Pens.
My sister Marilyn will be arriving for a visit next week and so I am inspired to be able spend quality time with her.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Moving with the Wild Grasses
I summoned up the energy for a walk to 2nd Beach this “weekend”. I wasn’t able to do it on Tuesday the most pleasant of the two days, but I managed a walk on a cloudy, moody Wednesday.
The seawall was nearly deserted and it felt like the middle of winter but those kinds of walks are usually very pleasant as peace and quiet rules.
It was chilly and I wore my winter coat but it was not quite cold enough to warrant a cap and so I let the cool breeze caress my ears and ruffle my hair as I walked. It was quite different weather than the previous day when I wore my t-shirt only on errands outside.
That day I thought of my son Ky, who has now made the transition from the heat of Delhi to the northern areas of Uttar Pradesh and the holy city of Varanasi (Benares) on the Ganges. It is a relief to know he is not idling in the stifling 100 degrees plus heat of Delhi.
There were very few cargo ships out in the bay but there were quite a few herons waiting for a ripple or a flickering image that would signal fishing time.
As I walked my eyes feasted on daffodils, tulips, dandelions and bluebells resting in elfin groves in the shadows of the tall new-leafed trees. I feel so very lucky to be able to walk into the coming spring season free of a cane to lean on.
As I approached 2nd Beach I contemplated extending my walk to 3rd Beach but for whatever reason and since my “accident” last summer I have felt a significant drop in my energy and my balance still has not returned to normal.
Last week I could only summon up the energy to get half way to 2nd Beach and so I felt that making it the whole way this week was enough of a success.
It is strange though to see my image in windows as I walk by these days. Gone is the spring and stride of the younger man I once was and in its place I see a more humble, slower moving grey-haired person in my peripheral vision, one I still have trouble recognizing as me.
It gives me pause to realize that my friends and co-workers will also recognize this shift of energy in me. But I guess this is a taste of what the word senior really means in physical terms.
This will have to be my time to learn to move slowly and gracefully and in the rhythm of the wild grasses.
The seawall was nearly deserted and it felt like the middle of winter but those kinds of walks are usually very pleasant as peace and quiet rules.
It was chilly and I wore my winter coat but it was not quite cold enough to warrant a cap and so I let the cool breeze caress my ears and ruffle my hair as I walked. It was quite different weather than the previous day when I wore my t-shirt only on errands outside.
That day I thought of my son Ky, who has now made the transition from the heat of Delhi to the northern areas of Uttar Pradesh and the holy city of Varanasi (Benares) on the Ganges. It is a relief to know he is not idling in the stifling 100 degrees plus heat of Delhi.
There were very few cargo ships out in the bay but there were quite a few herons waiting for a ripple or a flickering image that would signal fishing time.
As I walked my eyes feasted on daffodils, tulips, dandelions and bluebells resting in elfin groves in the shadows of the tall new-leafed trees. I feel so very lucky to be able to walk into the coming spring season free of a cane to lean on.
As I approached 2nd Beach I contemplated extending my walk to 3rd Beach but for whatever reason and since my “accident” last summer I have felt a significant drop in my energy and my balance still has not returned to normal.
Last week I could only summon up the energy to get half way to 2nd Beach and so I felt that making it the whole way this week was enough of a success.
It is strange though to see my image in windows as I walk by these days. Gone is the spring and stride of the younger man I once was and in its place I see a more humble, slower moving grey-haired person in my peripheral vision, one I still have trouble recognizing as me.
It gives me pause to realize that my friends and co-workers will also recognize this shift of energy in me. But I guess this is a taste of what the word senior really means in physical terms.
This will have to be my time to learn to move slowly and gracefully and in the rhythm of the wild grasses.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Ky Quixote arrives in New Delhi
It is just after 12 noon and it is just after 12 midnight in India. The temperature yesterday was 107 F and going up this week as high as 111! I wonder how prepared Ky will be after the balmy coolness of London Town.
But today (or rather tonight as it is after midnight there and already Thursday May 7th) he's in India in the company of one of his friends and hopefully they successfully ran the gauntlet of bargaining cabbies at Indira Gandhi airport and have found a pleasant bed for the night with a hot bath so that they can start their India journey refreshed.
The first step was to disregard his dad's injunction to fly British Airways. I guess they found a better deal with KLM and flew from London to Amsterdam first and then to India.
Ky also left his computer in London, telling me he was going analog for this Journey to the East, probably a wise decision for several reasons, one of the main ones being that with the temperatures so high they will be grateful for traveling light.
It seems only yesterday that I was holding my newborn son in my arms and praying for guidance in raising him. He was born at home in Shawnigan Lake on Vancouver Island in August of 1987, just a year after we had returned from India.
His birth (and the birth of our second son Kadir) was forecast by my sufi teacher in Delhi and Ky's middle name Nizam was given to him by this same man before his birth.
It is only fitting that 23 years later he will be paying a personal visit to the Dargah of Hazrat Nizamuddin Aulia, and I can imagine what a surprise Syed Ali Moosa will receive when the young man whose name was once only a promise knocks on his door.
How I would love to be there when this happens and I am hoping that Ky keeps a detailed record of this and posts a ton of pictures on his Flickr pages (Google: Ky Zoss Photos to follow up) although there may be a time delay as he doesn't have a computer with him and I think he is taking an older Nikon which means the film will have to be developed first.
Journey onward my brave young adventurer!
But today (or rather tonight as it is after midnight there and already Thursday May 7th) he's in India in the company of one of his friends and hopefully they successfully ran the gauntlet of bargaining cabbies at Indira Gandhi airport and have found a pleasant bed for the night with a hot bath so that they can start their India journey refreshed.
The first step was to disregard his dad's injunction to fly British Airways. I guess they found a better deal with KLM and flew from London to Amsterdam first and then to India.
Ky also left his computer in London, telling me he was going analog for this Journey to the East, probably a wise decision for several reasons, one of the main ones being that with the temperatures so high they will be grateful for traveling light.
It seems only yesterday that I was holding my newborn son in my arms and praying for guidance in raising him. He was born at home in Shawnigan Lake on Vancouver Island in August of 1987, just a year after we had returned from India.
His birth (and the birth of our second son Kadir) was forecast by my sufi teacher in Delhi and Ky's middle name Nizam was given to him by this same man before his birth.
It is only fitting that 23 years later he will be paying a personal visit to the Dargah of Hazrat Nizamuddin Aulia, and I can imagine what a surprise Syed Ali Moosa will receive when the young man whose name was once only a promise knocks on his door.
How I would love to be there when this happens and I am hoping that Ky keeps a detailed record of this and posts a ton of pictures on his Flickr pages (Google: Ky Zoss Photos to follow up) although there may be a time delay as he doesn't have a computer with him and I think he is taking an older Nikon which means the film will have to be developed first.
Journey onward my brave young adventurer!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Who needs an i-pod?
It is Saturday morning and I rec'd good news, an email from Ky saying his friends from Vancouver have arrived in London and he’s been busy entertaining them, hence the radio silence.
I have been waiting to hear his itinerary for the India trip…I think it is still not settled.
I've been following his photo posts to Flickr and when I see he's just posted, I know all is well. He has the eye and spirit of a true artist. From the age of about 6 years old when he first started to draw and color I could see his talent clearly defined. To follow his posts Google "ky zoss photos" and it will bring up his pages.
It’s a lovely blue sky morning and a perfect day for a walk to work.
As planned I watched the Elvis Costello special last night after work. A week ago I had seen the ad for the program and put a post-it note on my table with an abbreviated message so I would not miss it.
His guest was James Taylor and what memories their exchange brought back for me! I had goose bumps knowing I had been there too, in some ways.
After spending 40+ years as a singer songwriter I have some memories that echo the best of the vintage memories of any of the artists of my generation, famous or not. Part of the thrill I have in following my son's journey is knowing that he is laying the groundwork for some of the same treasures I have stored in my cellular memory over the years.
With stuff like this latent and ready to retrieve in an instant without any electronic devices, who needs an i-pod?
Seeing images of the young James Taylor juxtaposed to the present shots of an aging and much gentler, wiser man reminded me of my own journey. Watching him deftly finger the chord changes to some of his famous and memorable songs brought back memories of first hearing Sweet Baby James on the house sound system while sitting in Les Cousins Coffee House in Soho, London, just a few blocks away from where my son Ky is now working.
I was waiting for my spot at the open mike, my guitar in hand and going over the words to the songs (my own songs) I was about to perform as I had done so many times over the years and would continue to do for so many years to come.
Of course I had visions of these songs soon appearing on the pop charts and on the radio airwaves, a long lasting fantasy that never materialized for me but which fueled my journey and seemed to be a reason to carry on in the face of struggle. And what a struggle it was year after year waiting for those brief 15 minutes spots to showcase my songs!
In those days it never occured to me that I was writing music for a far more important and intimate reason...and that is the act of composing itself.
Thank God for that discipline, for the strength developed by it and for the life-line it has provided for me for so many years.
I have been waiting to hear his itinerary for the India trip…I think it is still not settled.
I've been following his photo posts to Flickr and when I see he's just posted, I know all is well. He has the eye and spirit of a true artist. From the age of about 6 years old when he first started to draw and color I could see his talent clearly defined. To follow his posts Google "ky zoss photos" and it will bring up his pages.
It’s a lovely blue sky morning and a perfect day for a walk to work.
As planned I watched the Elvis Costello special last night after work. A week ago I had seen the ad for the program and put a post-it note on my table with an abbreviated message so I would not miss it.
His guest was James Taylor and what memories their exchange brought back for me! I had goose bumps knowing I had been there too, in some ways.
After spending 40+ years as a singer songwriter I have some memories that echo the best of the vintage memories of any of the artists of my generation, famous or not. Part of the thrill I have in following my son's journey is knowing that he is laying the groundwork for some of the same treasures I have stored in my cellular memory over the years.
With stuff like this latent and ready to retrieve in an instant without any electronic devices, who needs an i-pod?
Seeing images of the young James Taylor juxtaposed to the present shots of an aging and much gentler, wiser man reminded me of my own journey. Watching him deftly finger the chord changes to some of his famous and memorable songs brought back memories of first hearing Sweet Baby James on the house sound system while sitting in Les Cousins Coffee House in Soho, London, just a few blocks away from where my son Ky is now working.
I was waiting for my spot at the open mike, my guitar in hand and going over the words to the songs (my own songs) I was about to perform as I had done so many times over the years and would continue to do for so many years to come.
Of course I had visions of these songs soon appearing on the pop charts and on the radio airwaves, a long lasting fantasy that never materialized for me but which fueled my journey and seemed to be a reason to carry on in the face of struggle. And what a struggle it was year after year waiting for those brief 15 minutes spots to showcase my songs!
In those days it never occured to me that I was writing music for a far more important and intimate reason...and that is the act of composing itself.
Thank God for that discipline, for the strength developed by it and for the life-line it has provided for me for so many years.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Counting my Blessings
"When words are both true and kind, they can change our world." ~Buddha-
It is just past 10 a.m. and I guess the snow that was forecast for later in the week never materialized for us and the sun seems to be sticking around instead. Thank you Weather Gods!
Saturday and mid-workweek for me! I am gearing up for the day, and counting my blessings.
Dare I mention the word Spring?
It seems whenever I take that deep relaxing breath and sigh of relief, the wind picks up again. But when the sun is shining like it is today, it is an incentive and an inspiration to get up and get with it.
If I was not working, it would be a great day for a seawall walk but I am lucky to be able to walk to work, about 25 minutes if I take my time and stop to smell the flowers.
Well, there may not be many blossoms just yet, as many seem to have tucked their heads back in their beds to wait out the cold days that have continued on. But they are coming, I can feel it in my bones.
And then this past cold winter will be nothing but a memory, one I will have forgotten by this time next year when someone asks, "Do you remember last year?"
As a young man and a student of meditation I tried so hard to live in the now. A long time ago I wrote:
"When to be, and to be, will deepen into NOW, I will roll my pantlegs to the knee and dance." I was an avid student of Yeats and Eliot, but also of Suzuki Roshi and Chogyam Trungpa.
These days, despite my best efforts I can't remember one week from the next, let alone a year ago. Especially if I am asked of if I try to remember.
The real memories, the ones that stick, come unbidden and linger like the fragrances of springtime blossoms. Thank God for those memories and times that were but will never be again.
And like the Canucks, with a game still in hand, what of those beautiful days and times still yet to come!
I am a lucky man!
(from the tinybuddha Twitter page.)
It is just past 10 a.m. and I guess the snow that was forecast for later in the week never materialized for us and the sun seems to be sticking around instead. Thank you Weather Gods!
Saturday and mid-workweek for me! I am gearing up for the day, and counting my blessings.
Dare I mention the word Spring?
It seems whenever I take that deep relaxing breath and sigh of relief, the wind picks up again. But when the sun is shining like it is today, it is an incentive and an inspiration to get up and get with it.
If I was not working, it would be a great day for a seawall walk but I am lucky to be able to walk to work, about 25 minutes if I take my time and stop to smell the flowers.
Well, there may not be many blossoms just yet, as many seem to have tucked their heads back in their beds to wait out the cold days that have continued on. But they are coming, I can feel it in my bones.
And then this past cold winter will be nothing but a memory, one I will have forgotten by this time next year when someone asks, "Do you remember last year?"
As a young man and a student of meditation I tried so hard to live in the now. A long time ago I wrote:
"When to be, and to be, will deepen into NOW, I will roll my pantlegs to the knee and dance." I was an avid student of Yeats and Eliot, but also of Suzuki Roshi and Chogyam Trungpa.
These days, despite my best efforts I can't remember one week from the next, let alone a year ago. Especially if I am asked of if I try to remember.
The real memories, the ones that stick, come unbidden and linger like the fragrances of springtime blossoms. Thank God for those memories and times that were but will never be again.
And like the Canucks, with a game still in hand, what of those beautiful days and times still yet to come!
I am a lucky man!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
The 1st of April?
Today it’s dark, rainy and gloomy…and cold…again.
When I went shopping yesterday the wind was so strong that I had to hold my toque over my ears to prevent the gusts from pulling it off my head, and to protect my eardrums from the cold blasts and possible resulting headache. But it was sunny and the sky was clear blue.
When I poked my head out the window this morning the falling rain was icy and mixed with snow and it looked like a leisurely stroll to the dentist office in Kits might be out of the question. When I planned this appointment 6 months ago, I am sure I visualized a walk through spring blossoms.
What happened to spring this year?
I looked again and at 10:30 it looked like the velocity of the rain’s diminished and there was an elderly passer by walking bareheaded. It he can do it, why not I? It will give me some exercise too, I thought, something I might not otherwise get today considering the elements.
Then I packaged up my garbage and exited to the lane to visit the dumpster on my way out. I had my toque on again and my rolled umbrella at the ready.
This time I bundled up fairly carefully and half way across the bridge I was glad I had as the wind was threatening to turn my umbrella inside-out and my fingers were growing numb. I folded my umbrella and braved the pelting rain until I reached Kits.
The visit to the dentist is always a challenge and today it was no exception as there was a new hygenist and I had to go through the whole routine with her from the beginning. It seems to me that I used to get through a cleaning with much less hassle, but these days it is a gauntlet.
When I finally got through it and my dentist came to check, I could tell by the way he was poking around in there are telling the hygenist to roll back the x-rays that I was going to be making another visit soon. It looks like some of my old silver fillings are showing cracks at the seams and he will have to replace these.
It's just as well as those fillings were done in the late 60's in the UK, and they have held up well and served their purpose.
Back home after another cold, wet walk across the bridge in very un-April like weather, I was congratulating myself on catching the wave of energy on Tuesday that had me cleaning my apartment as well as doing laundry, something I have been putting off too long.
Also today before I left for the dentist I edited and posted another chapter on Eagalic Music at:
http://www.eagalicmusic.com/
So I guess I can chalk this up as another successful "weekend".
When I went shopping yesterday the wind was so strong that I had to hold my toque over my ears to prevent the gusts from pulling it off my head, and to protect my eardrums from the cold blasts and possible resulting headache. But it was sunny and the sky was clear blue.
When I poked my head out the window this morning the falling rain was icy and mixed with snow and it looked like a leisurely stroll to the dentist office in Kits might be out of the question. When I planned this appointment 6 months ago, I am sure I visualized a walk through spring blossoms.
What happened to spring this year?
I looked again and at 10:30 it looked like the velocity of the rain’s diminished and there was an elderly passer by walking bareheaded. It he can do it, why not I? It will give me some exercise too, I thought, something I might not otherwise get today considering the elements.
Then I packaged up my garbage and exited to the lane to visit the dumpster on my way out. I had my toque on again and my rolled umbrella at the ready.
This time I bundled up fairly carefully and half way across the bridge I was glad I had as the wind was threatening to turn my umbrella inside-out and my fingers were growing numb. I folded my umbrella and braved the pelting rain until I reached Kits.
The visit to the dentist is always a challenge and today it was no exception as there was a new hygenist and I had to go through the whole routine with her from the beginning. It seems to me that I used to get through a cleaning with much less hassle, but these days it is a gauntlet.
When I finally got through it and my dentist came to check, I could tell by the way he was poking around in there are telling the hygenist to roll back the x-rays that I was going to be making another visit soon. It looks like some of my old silver fillings are showing cracks at the seams and he will have to replace these.
It's just as well as those fillings were done in the late 60's in the UK, and they have held up well and served their purpose.
Back home after another cold, wet walk across the bridge in very un-April like weather, I was congratulating myself on catching the wave of energy on Tuesday that had me cleaning my apartment as well as doing laundry, something I have been putting off too long.
Also today before I left for the dentist I edited and posted another chapter on Eagalic Music at:
http://www.eagalicmusic.com/
So I guess I can chalk this up as another successful "weekend".
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